Listening to Our Children

Listening is one of the best ways of helping our children and communicating our acceptance of them.

A child who is listened to feels:

• Valued
• Understood
• Respected
• Cared for

Being less directive

Instead of: Questions, blame, advice. e.g.

• "Did you do something to him first?"
• "That's what you get if you…"
• "If I were you I'd…"

Try: Listening in silence or responding non-verbally. e.g.

• Nodding
• or going "Oh" "Hmm" "I see"

Empathising

Instead of: Denying your child's feelings. e.g.

• "It can't hurt that much"
• "Don't be scared"
• "You don't really mean that"

Try: Naming the feeling. e.g.

• "That can really hurt"
• "You're feeling worried"
• "Sounds like you're very angry because…"

"I have been thinking more about why they behave the way they do."

"Now I try to understand and see things from my son's point of view."

"The most important thing I learned is that my kids are wee people and have feelings too."